Uptown Rats

It seems the New York Daily News is the place to go for rat stories. Not that I don't have a wealth of personal and empirical experience to share with you all. It's just I sometimes need a little more inspiration than my morning/early-afternoon cup(s) of coffee.

You've heard of the Plaza hotel I'm sure.Well, it seems the fountain in front of the historic building is attracting some unwanted visitors. The city park, Grand Army Plaza, on Fifth is a longtime rat haunt, and it seems the little pests have established  a little thoroughfare between the water source and the green space adjacent to the Plaza. This appears to be a rat control problem of hoighty-toighty proportions.

Tourists are freaking out, and apparently hardened locals are getting the creeps, too.One cart vendor told the Daily News the rats are rabbit-sized. Passers-by can see the shrubs shaking and hear the horrifying rat chatter as the little beasts spill out onto the sidewalk.

The same vendor put the blame on the horse-drawn-carriage operators, who he claims leave their animals' food behind. A local hansom cab driver says he's seen the population boom over the past few months promoting him to park his carriage elsewhere as not to scare of potential fares.

The hansom cab operators blame the tourists, saying it's their food that's causing the infestation. Here's what I think: The rats are to blame. You can pawn this thing off on whomever you want, but when it comes down to it, it's those nasty, resilient, reproductively savvy rats that deserve reproach.

A spokesman for the Central Park Conservancy said there had been no increase in rat numbers in the area. Which really isn't a surprise. What is a surprise is the burgeoning ease they display around humans. Here's what I'd say to these rats if I thought they understood me:

Rats, we liked you better when you were scared of us. "Like" is a strong word, fellas. Actually, we wanted to destroy you less when you were scared of us.

Can a Rat Climb Up Through the Toilet

I know this video is gratuitous and gross. But it's proof, man! Rats can enter your home through your toilet. Again, this is as unlikely as any of the scenarios I post. But doesn't it make you dislike rats more? After watching the video, please read on. I shall elaborate. Warning: this actually isn't that gross - it's more the idea than it is the footage that frightens me.

I found a blogger that sort of dispels this video as fraud. Those of you living in fear of rat toilet attacks should rest easy; his argument is pretty convincing. 


He said rats are really good climbers but even the most adept scramblers can't scale slippery PVC sewer pipe connected to your toilet.It's not really the circumference that would deter the little beasts; they can squeeze through quarter-size openings without skipping a beat. It's the slipperiness that would send them packing -- there's just not enough friction. And the whole set up of indoor plumbing relies on gravity; everything's lined up in graded angles. 

Rats are good swimmers, but that really wouldn't matter. Pipes in the home are typically not full of water. So, it's not  an issue of whether they could make it or hold their breath, it's more an issue of will. Would a rat see a toilet run as cost-effective? If you've made it this far, and are still afraid of this urban folk tale, there's one more thing to take into consideration: toilet bowls are the slickest surfaces in your house -- and we know rats can't handle slick surfaces. So if, against all odds, a rat made it up your toilet into the bowl, then that's where he's staying. At least until you call a rat control specialist. 

Let's Talk About the Plague

Again, I'm not trying to scare you. Well, maybe just a little bit. All I'm saying is the plague exists and it will get you. OK, it probably won't get you, but here's what I've found out about it in one of my exhaustive research sessions. 

The Plague is a disease typically spread by rodents (not unlike our friend the rat). Humans are bitten by the fleas carrying the bacterial disease living on the rats.Plague has has three forms: Bubonic plague,septicemia plague, and pneumonic plague. They respectively affect the lymph nodes, the blood, and the lungs. Pneumonic plague is the most contagious because of its ability to transmit via blood and fluid droplets in the air.

How do people get plague?

• Infected flea bites
• Contact with body fluids of a plague-infected animal
• Inhalation of airborne droplets from persons or animals, such as rats, but ironically cats as well; they're big carriers of plague pneumonia
• And finally, here's the "Outbreak" scenario, by exposure in a laboratory

Here's where it gets really gross: symptoms of infection

After exposure via bite or whatever, the Plague makes a b-line for the bloodstream and on to the lymph nodes. The lymph nodes swell into what are called buboes, the rock star characteristic of bubonic plague. Other symptoms include:  fever, headache, chills, and extreme tiredness. If gone untreated, plague typically devours the body within a week, maybe a few days.

So, what does all of this have to do with rat control you ask? I'm not sure. But it makes me not like rats that much more.

The First One's for Real

I came across this one in Metro. It's about rat bites -- rat bites in a city known for its rodent population: New York. Before I get into this, it's important to note that rat bites are rare. Odds are you'll go your whole life without getting bitten by one. That being said, it does happen. Here's how 2010 looked.

Rats bit over 100 people in the Big Apple last year. Those beady-eyed little monsters you see gnawing on discarded french fries in the subway are capable of, and have been known to, bite humans.  So watch out!

There were 86 reported rat bites last year -- that's "reported rat bites." There were obviously more that went unreported.  In 2011, there have been 29 people who've been attacked by rodentia in the city that never sleeps. But we haven't hit peak rat bite season yet. A period of time, I've been unable to pinpoint... as of yet!

The Health Department looks to bite accounts on their website for yearly numbers. Emergency rooms are also taken into consideration.  Here's a seriously creepy quote from a Bronx-based exterminator who specializes in rat control , and was called in after a mother reported finding bites on her infant.

“They were getting into a crib and they bit on a baby’s toes. [They] sometimes climb right into a baby’s crib and suck milk out of bottles."

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

There have also been reports of rats attacking pets. One particularly strange story involved a Long Island rat climbing into a parrot's cage, and subsequently devouring him. But remember, these stories are the outliers. Rats typically keep to themselves. If they were to actually bite you, it would probably be by accident. However, if one should sink it's filthy little teeth into your flesh, call the Health Department; you don't want rat bite fever ; it can be fatal, unfortunately.